Tell us about the time you threw down the gauntlet and drew the proverbial line in the sand by giving someone an ultimatum. If you’ve never handed out an ultimatum but secretly wanted to, describe the scene and what you would say to put an end (one way or another) to an untenable situation.

We have all been disappointed by someone we love and trust at one point in our lives. But because of how much we love them, we learn to forgive quickly even though we are still hurting. I think what’s worst is when they go back to their old ways after you have given them a second chance. We’re just human and we can only take so much and the pain and suffering inflicted by someone we love is the worst kind of pain. The betrayal can break your heart into a million pieces and can even turn you stone cold. We have a tendency to put our walls up, so high that nobody can reach us anymore. But who could blame us when we’ve been badly hurt by someone we trusted with our heart only to tore it apart. I know how it feels to be that person. I know how much it hurts to have your heart broken because you trusted someone and it’s even more painful when you allow that person back into your life only to get hurt again. I spent many nights crying trying to mend a broken heart. I spent countless hours thinking what I could’ve done differently. Until it dawned to me that I didn’t do anything wrong. Just like others, I allowed myself to be vulnerable by letting someone in my life, by loving and trusting them. It wasn’t I who made a mistake. But even after that realization I still had my moments and that’s when I gave myself an ultimatum. I vowed to never let that person and what happened to me stop me from living life full of love and happiness. I can’t let that person steal my joy any more, I just can’t. So I did what I said. It wasn’t an easy process at first but I got through it and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.

I think sometimes we don’t realize that giving an ultimatum doesn’t just apply to the other person whom we wish would do exactly what is expected of them. Sometimes no matter how much we try, if the person is not willing to change, they won’t. We are all programmed differently and we can’t change people. That is why I believe that when we get to a point where the person who used to bring happiness into our lives became the exact opposite, then it’s time to let go. I strongly believe that it’s not worth giving them an ultimatum. Because if that someone genuinely cared, they don’t have to be told what to do. They know you enough to know what hurts you and what makes you happy because they truly love you. Therefore, we should give the ultimatum to ourselves so we learn to let go of the things that doesn’t serve us anymore.

*DP