You have to write a message to someone dear to you, telling that person how much he/she means to you. However — instead of words, you can only use 5-10 objects to convey your emotions. Which objects do you choose, and what do they mean?

I’m breaking the rules here by writing an open letter to my mother instead of using objects to convey my emotions. 🙂 I’ve actually never written a letter to my mother this open and honest. As a matter of fact I haven’t written her a letter in many years, just greeting cards and emails once in a while. I’d be lying if I am going to say that it was easy to write this. It was absolutely not…..but it felt good to not hold anything back and just let the emotions flow. So here it goes…..

To My Dearest Mother,

I know life hasn’t been that easy for both of us since the day I was born. You went through many hardships on your own because my father was unreliable. You were disowned by your parents because you followed your heart and I’ll never forget that look in your face as you recall some of the toughest points in your life. I felt your pain especially after seeing your tears fall down your cheeks. I know how much you love your parents and siblings and I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you not to see them. But you were brave and strong and held on. To this day you still do.

Growing up, I never quite understood what actually happened all those years. I was left in the dark and was clueless about everything. I resented you for years and felt that you didn’t care enough to want to spend time with me. I used to always question why you had to work so far away. I remember begging you to come home several times but you said that you can’t because you needed to take care of me. I didn’t quite understand what that actually meant then. How could you possibly take care of me when you are far away. There were many things that I did not understood at that time. I also wasn’t aware of the hardships that you went through because of my father and because you didn’t want me to end up resenting him, you chose to kept quiet for so many years. I am so sorry Mom. I am sorry for what you had to go through. I am sorry that you were alone in the hospital when I was born and my father was nowhere near because he was with another woman. I am sorry that you had to go through it alone but I am grateful that you didn’t give up on life. I am grateful that you didn’t give up on me and for wanting a bright future for me.

I know we don’t always see eye to eye. We’ve grown so much apart and living in separate continents doesn’t help either. I can’t help but feel sad about what our life has become. We’ve only seen each other three times since I became an adult and spent a few weeks together. It’s not enough time to make up for the three decades that we’ve missed out on each other’s life which made me realize too that we’ve never spent Christmas or New Year together since I was born. I love you Mom and miss you very much. I am sorry for all those years that I gave you so much worries. I want you to know that I now understand fully why you did what you had to and it wasn’t just for me. You made all those sacrifices to help your parents and to provide for their needs. You also never hesitated to help your siblings whenever they were in need. I am sorry Mom if I didn’t understand your purpose then. Please forgive me if I didn’t understand the depth of your love for me then…but now I do, very much so.

Thank you for sharing your story, Mom. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you to recall the hardships that you went through and I am grateful that you finally shared it with me. I appreciate that you trusted me enough to feel comfortable to share it with me.

Mom, I want you to know that I am proud of you and I am grateful that you are my mother. I am fortunate to have a brave, strong and courageous woman as a mother. 

Thank you for choosing not to give up on life no matter how tough it got. Thank you for not giving up on me and most importantly thank you for not giving up on us. We may be far away from each other now but I strongly believe that in God’s perfect time, we will be together and finally have that chance to make up for all the lost time. ❤

I love you Mom and I miss you very much.

Love, 

Edelweiss

*DP