OCD? What is OCD? OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. According to Wikipedia, OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear or worry (obsessions), repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety (compulsions), or a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning, repeated checking, extreme hoarding, preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts, relationship-related obsessions, aversion to particular numbers and nervous rituals such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms are time-consuming, might result in loss of relationships with others, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, people with OCD generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational and may become further distressed by this realization. Despite the irrational behaviour, OCD is sometimes associated with above-average intelligence. Its sufferers commonly share personality traits such as high attention to detail, avoidance of risk, careful planning, exaggerated sense of responsibility and a tendency to take time in making decisions.

But what does OCD mean for someone like me who suffers from it? Where do I even begin to describe how this disorder changed my life. Overcoming obsessions and compulsions is not an easy task. I wish I knew what it was when I first noticed the symptoms back when I was fifteen. It started with wiping my feet on the rug 50 times before entering the house and brushing my teeth a total of 12 times in a day. But I sort of just ignored it thinking that it was just a phase that I was going through and that it would go away soon. Though the wiping of the feet on the rug numerous times went away after some time, the unnecessary amount of times I brushed my teeth hasn’t gone away and to this day I still do it in addition to other obsessions and compulsions that I have. Some days I’m able to win over these obsessions but not always. Another thing that frustrates me about this disorder is that once you overcome a particular obsession, a new one develops almost instantly along with the compulsions. It is absolutely DIFFICULT having to deal with this on a day-to-day basis and spend hours doing something that I don’t want to do. Some days are a little better but there are days when it’s absolutely out of control and I’m a bowl of emotions where I end up getting so angry and frustrated at myself. I can’t help but cry because I start feeling hopeless and I’m depressed about the whole ordeal. I question God why me. Why do I have to go through this?  I know that doesn’t help me but I don’t know how else to express what I’m feeling at that moment. I just had to let it out in order to lessen the burden that I’m feeling. But despite how overwhelming  it’s been for me, I try my very best to stay positive about it. I try to focus on things that inspires me and makes me happy. Writing and being creative helps me get through it. Having a blog has been a positive force in my life because not only am I able to share my thoughts and feelings through writing and my creative pursuits but there are also so many inspiring people in the blogosphere world. It keeps me inspired. It gives me hope…and most of all, it helps me cope.

I know not everyone understands the struggles of someone with an OCD. Some people would say, “it’s just all in your mind” or “don’t think about it” (referring to the obsessions) or “stop doing it” (referring to the compulsions) but it’s easier said than done. How I wish it was that simple and easy! Then there are also those who likes to use the expression “I’m a bit OCD about that!” and something similar. Please STOP doing that. It is NOT funny and it’s disrespectful!!! We don’t appreciate it when someone mocks OCD behaviors. It’s hurtful and destructive. Bad enough many people often misunderstood the disorder and many are afraid to open up about it due to fear of stigma. I, for one kept it to myself for over a decade before finally finding the courage to open up about it. What we’re going through is NOT easy. We need to be understood. We need compassion. We need help in spreading awareness about OCD and we can only do this by educating ourselves and others about it.

BE AN INSTRUMENT OF CHANGE.

HELP END THE STIGMA.

PLEASE HELP RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT OCD. 

*DP