NaPoWriMo 2013- #22: To My Parents- Words Unspoken

This has to be the most personal poem I’ve ever written to date. I was inspired to write this after reading a son’s heartfelt message to his father expressing how much he misses him and that there is never a day that he doesn’t think of him since his passing 9 years ago. I couldn’t help myself from writing the son  a message to tell him that I was deeply moved by his love for his father and family and before I knew it I’m already writing in my little notebook with my favorite pen in the wee hours.  My poem was supposed to be just the last 6 lines and that was it. It wasn’t too personal at first but as I reread what I had written, something came over me and this overwhelming emotion is what drove me to write the rest of the poem. This random person whom I don’t even know personally and just started following on Instagram a few months ago because I admire his photos  (especially the food ones! hehehehe!) suddenly became more than that to me because if he hadn’t expressed his feelings to the world about losing his father and how he tries to cope with it everyday, I wouldn’t be able to express those overwhelming emotions I have been keeping to myself since I was a child. I thank him for being brave at expressing his emotions because it has inspired me to do the same as well. So this poem is VERY special to me. It is a piece of my heart. Something that has been tucked away for so long and at times I tried to ignore because I’ve convinced myself that I wasn’t affected and that I was doing completely fine growing up without either of my parents by my side. Don’t get me wrong. I’m forever grateful for my grandparents as they are the only parents I’ve come to know but I wish I had a better relationship with my father and mother though they separated and have lived their own lives since I was a baby. I just wish that we have a better relationship with each other even though we all have separate lives. But it’s never too late. I’m fortunate that they are both still alive and I hope that someday things would be much much better :).
This was the last photo of my grandparents together just before my Grandfather passed away 😦 . I couldn’t ask for better parents. God has truly blessed me with wonderful grandparents :).
It took 23 years before I saw my mother again. To this day I struggle to understand WHY. There are so many things that I want to ask her but every time I try it’s either I get shutdown or never get a straight answer. One thing I really miss about her was when she used to do my hair :).
I first saw my Dad in 1993 after a few years gap of not having any communication. I remember making a wish on a shooting star every night when I was in 6th grade hoping that I would find him and meet him soon…and my wish actually came true the following year :).

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