Fighting my Battles with Gratitude

For the last 3 years my life has been full of ups and downs. It’s been a roller coaster ride for me. I’d say that it’s been the most trying times in my life. There were days when I felt so lost and wasn’t sure where to pick up the pieces. I wasn’t sure how to get back up. It’s been quite a difficult journey…a very challenging one. Some days were pretty tough that I’d fight my way just to stay sane. That’s how I felt. I thought I was going to lose it. It felt like my life was spiraling down way too fast that I can’t even catch my breath. I wish I could numb myself. I wish it was easy to not feel anything and to not worry. The toughest part was acknowledging your true feelings to the closest people to you. As much as I wanted to open up to family and friends about what I’m truly feeling, I find it so difficult to do that. I can’t get my self to do it. I don’t want them to worry. I don’t want them to pity me.  Plus when I’m surrounded by family and friends, I seem to forget about my worries. I’ve never been the type who sulk and hide in my shell when there is something that’s bothering me. I tend to keep it all under wraps. I’ve always been that way. What sucks though is when I’m all alone…surrounded by nothing but silence. That’s when it hits me! And it hits me hard! I wish it was that easy…but I’m not giving up! I know things will get better! It’s just a matter of time 🙂

The challenges I’m facing right now has made me realized a lot of things and made me appreciate the little things…not that I didn’t before but I thought that I would always be stable as long as I follow the rules…that if I do good at work, I’ll have a steady income and be financially stable and maintain my lifestyle…but hey…life has many surprises…and if something is meant to happen because it’s written in your destiny…there is nothing you can do to prevent it from happening…you just have to learn to live with it…granted we need material things and money…but all those are temporary. What we need to treasure are the relationships that we have because when you are at the most trying times in your life, none of those “temporary” things can give you the satisfaction and peace of mind that you need knowing that you are surrounded by people who cares about you even if you have nothing. Life is a cycle…what goes up must come down…and it goes on and on…there’s always a reason and a season for everything.

Despite all the challenges I’m facing right now, there’s still a lot that I’m thankful for! I’m thankful to family and friends who are always there for me. I’m thankful that God has given me the strength I need to persevere. He’s never left my side and continuously guides me as I fight my battles. I’m thankful for all the blessings and for the miracles I have witnessed. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason…I know it’s cliché but it’s true 🙂 I believe that everything will fall into place in God’s perfect time.

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